Five Things

In this Great Parenting Experiment (as I call it) there's any manner of things that:

1. You can hear about, and know immediately will never work for your family.

2. You can hear about, think they're great, set about implementing them, and discover that for some reason they will never work for your family.

3. You hear about or think of, try, don't like, change/tweak a little and it works for a while and then you have to change your approach, or it works perfectly forever.

4. You just do the way your mom always did. It works.

5. You do THE OPPOSITE of how your mom did. 

6. You do on a wild hair one day, and it turns out to be the best thing ever, and totally works for your family, and is implemented from there on out.

And so on and so forth. Or perhaps some variation of the above.

Thankfully, oh so thankfully, there is grace for the stuff we screw up. And, there's so much joy and memories to be made in the stuff we get right.

Also, the pics for this post are all random. In case you couldn't figure that out for yourself. Just call me Captain Obvious.

Making a snack plate before school begins. Brianna is obsessed with knives, or blades of any kind. So, we've been learning to use them safely. 

 These are just a few of the things that I've implemented this year that have made a difference in my sanity, and the peace in our home. Completely random stuff.  They cover a broad spectrum of items, and they've all been implemented from different emotions on my behalf, from pure frustration and irritation or complete silliness and goofiness with just a dash of serious.  I would like to say that making it a point to know and observe my kids and what works for them is why, but all these things have been more incidental than that.

Doing school outside on a sunny February day.

 #1. Having them clean up after each other, and us. 
Am I the only mother that gets BEYOND annoyed when I say to pick up the living room, and the only things they pick up is their stuff?! One day this winter, I was sick, exhausted, and completely beyond patience with that, and sat down on the couch with them after . Mostly just as an excuse to sit down, if I'm being completely honest. I explained that as a family, we were in this together. We live together, and we each play a part in keeping our household running. If they wanted Daddy to keep buying them food and clothes, and me to keep cooking and doing laundry for them, they were to pick up after us and each other when instructed, NO COMPLAINTS. If there was even the slightest bit of complaining, the complainer would have to pick up the whole house alone, and serve the other kid beverages and snacks while they were doing it. I told you I was mad. Somehow it worked. I've never had to implement that discipline, for the record. All I say in the evening is "We're going to straighten up the house now, everybody remember to clean everything up, regardless of if it's yours or not." I think that reminder and warning is fair enough--they are children, after all. It's been SO good for them to have that attitude about straightening up the house.

I love these pictures. Brianna helping Daddy build a new computer.

#2. Having some sort of healthy snack at the ready during school.

It's entirely likely that this won't work for everyone. But for me, I have two kids that snack, constantly. Their snacks are pretty healthy, so it's not a habit I'm concerned about, and actually would rather encourage because it's healthier for our metabolism to eat in small healthy amounts when hungry all day long. I got tired of hearing "I'M HUNGRYYYYYYY!!!" every 10 minutes when we were doing school. So, we usually work together to have some sort of fruit or vegetable with dip or peanut butter on the table during school, or maybe pretzel sticks. They are allowed to munch while they are working. It makes such a difference in their contentedness, and my peace.

 #3. Having a supply of pencils for the dropping. 
Am I the only homeschooling mom who may actually murder someone someday due to them dropping a pencil?! Holy Moley. This drives me completely rathouse crazy. Approximately 8,000 times a day the pencils would go flying. Then, the child would then, in the SLOOOOWWWWWEST fashion possible, revolve into an upside down position in their chair, arms and legs flailing about, while singing some random song, or saying some random thing that has no bearing whatsoever on the Very Important Thing I am teaching them, and as I sit there not-so-patiently, I must admit. Then that agonizing process would repeat itself in reverse. 8,000 times a day, I tell you.  So, in one of those (far and few) moments of clarity, I went to our supply basket and sharpened a handful of pencils. They have to drop ALL the pencils on the floor (usually I try to keep about 8 in rotation) before they can do their obnoxious little revolve to an upside-down position in their chair thing. Once all their pencils are on the floor, I get up, tip-toe over the pencils and go do some little other thing until they're done dreamily and singily collecting them from the floor, and we go back to Very Important Thing we were learning. Much better than a lifetime sentence for murder.

#4. Having them read each other's dictation sentences. 

This was one of those things that was born from me needing to get laundry done. I ran down the stairs one day to switch loads, and told them to read each other their dictation sentences for the day, and work together to correct any mistakes. They do it for each other, so any superiority towards each other is promptly flung back on the flip side. I usually stay out of that, other than the occasional verbal reminders for kindness, and that turnabout is fair play. Generally though, I've found that they do a good job in supporting each other, and it's been a nice introduction into learning together and working as a team. The answers are right in front of the reading one, and the prompting that happens between them is cute and fun to listen to from my perspective.

A special treat for two girls who really miss camping. A "slumber party" in the living room, complete with berry smoothies and the ever present Tintin books.

#5.  Fight Resolution
My kids get along pretty well. They have their snits here and there, but for them most part they resolve things  between the two of them. And, generally, I stay out of their way when they fight. Everyone has a different opinion on sibling warfare. Obviously it's not something I promote, but it's within one's family where one first learns how to get along with everyone else in the world, and I don't think it's my place to step between my kids and forcibly settle their differences. I definitely want daughters who work together towards compromise, who realize that everyone comes from a different point of view, and I also want daughters who are strong and confident, and stand for what is right and don't take crap off people. I WANT strong-willed children. If I left that sentences there, that might be concerning. BUT, to clarify: I want strong-willed children whose desire is towards God, who will be strong in their faith and values and confident is His love and care for them, and who will always stand STUBBORNLY and WILLFULLY with Christ and a heart for Him against the many, many, many temptations they will see in virtually every moment of their days, especially as they get older and go out into the world to college, jobs, etc. My job is to guide them in that path. And, I don't think stepping between them when they fight enables them towards being able to think for themselves, or resolve differences for themselves, or to know when they need to walk away. So, I try to keep an eye on their battles and only step in to guide them towards a resolution.

All that being said, I happened upon a verse in my devotions that spoke to me with regards to not just my kid's battles with people, but some of my own too. And, I set about memorizing it. And then one day the kids were fighting and I wanted to remind them of Whom they serve, and decided they should memorize it too. And, I was in a goofy mood. And, this Fight Resolution Process sort of came about from there.

First of all I have them quote:

Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may, with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 15: 5-6


Then I have them do all, or at least a few of the following:
*Touch foreheads
*Touch Noses
*Touch chins (They're always giggling at this point. Have you ever touched chins with someone? It's weird.)
*Hug
*Do Air Kissing on each other's cheeks--usually I'll say " do air kisses pretending you're a bird, or an elephant waving his trunk, or some other random animal, and they're full on giggling together while they flap their arms and attempt proper air kissing procedure at the same time.
*Shake their booties
*Say something loving to each other or compliment each other. I change this one up every time.

This has been my favorite parenting "thing" that has evolved this year--because it's equal parts serious and goofy, and reminds them that they are best friends. So far they've set about resolving their differences and figuring their fights out on their own after the above procedure.

What are some random, possibly odd, or maybe a little goofy things that you do with your kids to make your life easier, or works towards teaching them all you want to them to learn in a fun way?