Very random quotes...

I haven't done a post like this for a while, and I've got quite a lot of material to cover. I'll try to make it as painless as possible. :-)

The fly swatter is the "Swy-wopper" for both of them.

Debris keeps a close eye on the moods of all around the house. She'll ask me sometimes, "Mom, are you stressterated? You need to loolax!" It's hard to keep a straight face when you get that announcement from your toddler.

The other day Kiki came into the kitchen where I was working.

Kiki: "Mom, Brie 'n me are feeling very guilty."

Me: "Oh? Why?"

Kiki: "Well, there's nothing to do, and we're not having any fun."

Me: "Sooo, why do you feel guilty?

Kiki: "Because there's nothing to do!!!!

Me: Oh, you mean you feel bored?

Kiki (giggling): Yeah, we're bored.

Kiki after a very large sneeze: "Did the house just bounce?"

Some interesting Kiki questions lately:

"Mom, how many calories does it take for this stuff to dry?" (referring to lotion she'd layered on pretty thick)

and along those same lines...

"Mom, how many calories does it take to buckle me in?"

One day she came in with a very serious face on. "Mom, I have a REALLY important question to ask you-------Why don't monkeys wear clothes?"

One day I found her laying on her bed. I asked her what she was doing. "I'm hibernating!" she responds.

Debris is the queen of random quotes, out of nowhere. Most of the time we hear these announcements from the backseat of the car, when we are going losting. Here's a few:

"Dogs don't wear shoes!!!"

"My head is really big!!!!"

followed a few minutes later by:

"What's in our heads?"

"The moon has dried out!" (she was looking for it in the daytime)

"Mom, I am not a sailboard!"

"We are Hoo-mans!"

Kiki had a random observation on Saturday that was humorous. She announced from the backseat of the car that, "Husband's don't wear make-up!"

A classic parenting situation with Debris:

Me: Brie, what are you doing?

Debris: I love you SO MUCH, Mom!" (blink blink)

A few words of wisdom from Kiki:

"Bad guys need God in their hearts to "ree-tect" them in case they get killed!"

Kiki is possibly the biggest back seat driver I've ever met. She constantly is hollering instruction or correction from the backseat. Heaven forbid one should ever roll through a stop sign. It's comical sometimes, but occasionally can get a little annoying. So one day, I'm calmly and sedately driving the speed limit-ish around a bend, when she announces from the backseat: "Dad is not going to be happy with you if you take Rovey up on two wheels, Mom!"

A few weeks ago at dinner, Debris had a conversation with Daddy that went like this:

Daddy: What did you do today, Brie?

Debris: Yesterday I broke Kiki's tea set!!

Daddy: That's too bad, but what did you do today?

Debris (very indignantly!): I didn't break NUFFIN' today!"

Debris is incredibly affectionate. She tells us all she loves us, several times a day. It's very sweet. She has this cute little game that she's come up with, where she tells us things like, "I love you an ELEPHANT!" "I love you a LION!" "I love you a MOUNTAIN!" and so on and so forth, whatever item pops into her head. So the other morning we were having our morning snuggle and playing this game, and she says, "I LOVE you a HOLE, mommy!" Then she stops for a minute. I guess she felt the need to amend herself, because she said, "But not a butt hole, that would be really rude. I just love you a WHOLE bunch!" Needless to say, I thanked her for not being rude, and managed to make it to another room before I started snickering.

Kiki enlightened Debris as to cavities, their causes, and prevention this last week. These two are a direct result of that:

Debris to Kiki during a wrestling match: "Don't kick me in my head cavity! (pointing at her mouth)

I was explaining to Kiki what gravity was. Debris was sitting in the corner looking at a book. All of a sudden she pipes up, and very wisely, patiently and slowly says to me, "No mom. Gravity is a hole in your teeth!"

Debris LOVES all manner of spiders, bugs, worms, etc. She loves them so much, that she has an imaginary "friend spider", who goes every where with her. One night I found her playing with a small spider in the computer room. I, of course, administered immediate execution to said spider. Debris started crying and howling. "You killed friend spider!!!" Kiki says to Debris,"You can't play with spiders! They might bite your finger! Then your finger would become a super-blood-pumping machine!"

Kiki has been trying out joke writing and delivery lately. Here's just a few:

What do you call a monkey on your booty?

A foot!

What do you call a monkey wearing a metal suit?

A booty!

She giggles uproariously every time she tells one of these jokes. As you can tell, they are all along the Monkey/Booty lines. I have no idea where they get these things from.

Last Monday I was folding laundry in another room. I heard the garbage disposal turn on, and as you can imagine, I dropped everything, and RAN into the kitchen, imagining them both with severed limbs. But instead, they had pulled chairs over in front of the sink, and were standing there giggling and talking with the cookie jar open, pulling out cookies, breaking off pieces, and dropping them down into the garbage disposal. It's a wonder I don't have any gray hairs.